Where Your Love Is Lost, Your Ghost Is Found
by pleasant-hell
Summary: Puck writes his own original song to try and get Santana to smile again and Brittany and Santana are trying to get past the hallway confession as friends, while the group prepares for Regionals.
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing, but the song Puck sings to Santana. The song is the product of a guitar in my lap, vodka & Redbull in my hand, and friends who kept getting me refills. As it turns out I really liked the song.

* * *

Santana had been moping around for weeks. She'd been avoiding everyone except in glee where she kept to herself and would only sing songs by Coldplay. She had allowed Brittany to come over a couple times, but kept her distance from the blonde. Brittany didn't understand why Santana wouldn't kiss her anymore.

"B, I just can't," Santana said curled up on her side of the bed, "It hurts way too much."

"But you always said my kisses make you feel better," Brittany pouted, watching Santana.

Santana shook her head, "If I can't have you…all of you…then I can't have any of you." Santana sighed and shook her head. That even confused her. "Can we just watch a movie?"

The blonde nodded, disappointed. She looked at the pillow under her. She was struggling for something to say because she wanted Santana to talk to her. "Puck's writing a song about you."

"Wha-" Santana furrowed her eyebrows, "Why? I thought he was with Lauren."

Brittany trailed her finger along the comforter in a circle around herself, "Because Mr. Schue told us that if we had an idea for a song then we could sing it in glee…and you're sad. He thought it would help."

"How do you know about it?" Santana asked. Although she and Puck had had their differences, he turned out to be a good friend. The night after Brittany told her she couldn't be with her, Santana showed up at Puck's house (she still wasn't sure why) and they both drank until Santana was sobbing on his shoulder. She didn't quite remember what she told him, but he's been a sympathetic ear to her ever since.

"He asked if I wanted to help," Brittany shrugged.

Santana laid down all the way, stretched out on her stomach. She put her hands under her pillow, "Did you?"

A small nod came from the blonde. She let out a smile, "Some parts are kinda funny and some parts are sad. Some of them are mean too," she frowned, "but Puck said that it's his verse he can write what he wants."

Santana closed her eyes. Brittany's expressions were always a point of focus for Santana. She could see every one of them in her head. She had no idea what possessed her to agree to Brittany coming over…well she did know what possessed her to do it. She was just disappointed that her love of the blonde had overridden her self-preservation and common sense. There was a dull ache in her chest whenever Brittany was around and she desperately wanted it to go away, but she couldn't stop herself seeing Brittany. She wanted to be around her all the time just like before. She wanted to hold her and kiss her and tell her that she loved her.

It hurt because she knew she couldn't- she shouldn't. It would be incredibly easy just to scoot over and kiss Brittany, slipping back into old habits.

Santana looked down at her newly done nails. Her mom had sent her to the spa after she had moped around the house two weekends in a row, something completely unheard of for Santana. "Did you tell…" Santana pause. She hated saying his name. Every time she saw him she wanted to throw up and if she said his name she was sure she'd either cry or throw up. "him…about what I said?"

"Puck or Artie?" Brittany asked.

Santana visibly cringed at the name. She squeezed her eyes shut. "The second one."

"No," Brittany shook her head.

"Why not?" she asked back, dreading the answer.

The dancer laid down on the bed, on her side facing Santana, "Because…I didn't know if you wanted me to tell anyone and I feel like…it's special. To me anyway. I don't want to have to share it….I want it to be mine."

Santana studied Brittany for a few seconds before she let out a sigh. Why did Brittany have to be so sweet without realizing it? She closed her eyes again and tried to think of being somewhere else. In the gym running suicides for Coach Sylvester….but of course Brittany was always there and her legs were always glistening with the post workout sweat. Her long, lean, smooth… Santana shook her head into the pillow. She really needed to get Brittany out of her system. If only she really wanted Brittany out of her system.

"San?" Brittany asked.

"Hmm?" Santana asked back, not even opening her eyes.

"I was just seeing if you were still awake."

"Yeah, I'm still awake….barely."

Every muscle in Santana's body tensed when she felt Brittany's fingers running through her hair. She reached up and stopped the hand, wrapping her fingers around Brittany's wrist. She hadn't touched Brittany in so long she forgot how easily the blonde affected her. "Please, Brit…just don't…"

"But I want to touch you," Brittany frowned, pushing up into a seated position, "It's not fair."

Santana scoffed, "Seriously?" She opened her eyes and sat up.

"Yes," Brittany stated firmly, "I want to touch you. Why can't I?"

"I already told you," Santana took a deep breath.

The blonde took Santana's hand, fighting Santana to keep it in her possession. Finally Santana gave up and let Brittany gently stroke her hand, up and down and across her knuckles.

Tears were already misting Santana's eyes. She choked out, "Break up with Artie."

Brittany sighed. She knew that was coming. Being Brittany, she didn't want to hurt anyone, but she knew she'd effectively crushed Santana. Brittany whispered, pulling Santana's body into hers, "I love you."

Santana let Brittany hold her for a few minutes, as she tried to choke back tears. She could feel Brittany showering her face and head with kisses, which only served to make her lose her hold on the tears. She wrapped her arms around Brittany who gently laid them down.

Santana was at the end of her rope. She would quite literally do anything to be with Brittany. She would lie, cheat and steal (although that was a normal weekday for her). She tried to think of all the things she could do to get Brittany to leave Artie for her. She even contemplated a very elaborate kidnapping that would leave Artie in Tijuana and Brittany free to date.

"What would it take for you to break up with Artie?" Santana whispered against Brittany's neck, "I need to be with you."

Tears stung the back of Brittany's eyes. Seeing Santana that vulnerable and depressed was horrifying. She answered honestly and gently squeezed Santana, "I don't know."

They fell asleep like that in the silence of Santana's room. When Brittany woke up, she found that Santana had already left for school, leaving her a note that told her to remember her jacket because it was going to be chilly.

Santana's day came and went the same way it always did. Blurry and uninteresting. She drug her feet to each class and got to glee first so she could sit in the back and torture herself by watching Brittany and Artie together.

Puck walked in with his guitar in one hand and Lauren's hand in the other. They were laughing about something that was undoubtedly weird or slightly mean. When Puck saw Santana he hitched his chin with a friendly smile and Santana nodded remembering the song that Brittany said he wrote for her.

She was a little worried about the song. He wrote her a song before and by he was halfway through the first verse, Santana was sure he just took a story from Playboy and put it to music.

When everyone assembled, Puck set up his stuff and waited for Mr. Schue to introduce him. He sat on a stool and looked up at Santana, "We all know you're kinda depressed and some of us know about it more than others so…I hope this will make you smile. Mike, Brittany, Rachel, and I worked really hard on it."

Santana looked questioningly at Rachel. That sorta surprised her. The shorter girl just shot her a sweet, hopeful smile. Santana couldn't bring herself to smile back so she let out a nod, acknowledging the girl.

"I thought about it last night and I think Rachel and Brit should sing back up on the chorus so if you girls could grab a chair or whatever," Puck started tuning his guitar.

Rachel immediately got up and joined Puck, but Brittany seemed hesitant. She hadn't seen Santana all day, much less talked to her. And this song could cause some problems between her and Artie. She glanced up at Santana who looked less depressed than she had in days and she knew she had to sing it. If it would help make Santana happy, she'd risk it.

Puck started playing some chords. The song sounded light and fun. He added, "Before I start I'd like to apologize…to…well you'll figure out who you are when I sing it." His eyes were on Artie who of course knew it was going to be mean to him.

Puck played a few more chords before starting to sing.

_Shoving Artie down the stairs_  
_Showing Brittany that she cares_  
_Strutting up and down the hall_  
_Shoplifting from the mall_

_She's got it going on._  
_Yeah she's got it going on._

A smile broke out across Santana's face for the first time in a really, really long time.

_But when you stop and you stare_  
_You'll see she's not there_  
_And the tears in her eyes_  
_Yeah they'll make you wonder why_

_Wonder why_

_She needs to let us all in_  
_Except maybe Finn_  
_Cause we make her laugh and smile_  
_For a while._

That part brought tears to her eyes. They were right in the verses and she could feel that they were reaching out to her. She felt Quinn take her hand and gently squeeze it, trying to convey some support for whatever she thought was wrong.

_She's got the sharpest of tongues_  
_Couldn't tell that she's numb_  
_'Cause she's broken and she's bruised_  
_She's been tortured and used_

Her eyes had been on Puck the whole time because he had been singing directly to her, but she chanced a glance at Brittany who looked slightly nervous. She wouldn't have noticed if she hadn't know all of Brittany's expressions intimately.

_Someday we'll look her up_  
_While they're getting her close up_  
_There will be no more tears_  
_We'll have to even call her.. Mrs. Pierce_

Santana's mouth dropped open. She definitely had not expected that. Her eyes shot from Rachel who was beaming at her to Brittany who had a small smile resting on her lips. The blonde was swaying on her stood with the music and finally looked up at Santana.

The simple stared made Santana's heart race. She felt like it might explode because she could see all the love that populated Brittany's heart pour out through their gaze.

_She's beautiful_  
_She's smart_  
_She's got a whole lotta love_  
_In her guarded heart._

_Santana._

The rest of the glee club clapped and Santana made her way down to Puck to give him a tearful hug. He put his strong hands on her bad, "I'm glad you liked it. I was scared you be pissed because of the first verse…and the Mrs. Pierce thing."

She shook her head against his chest. "It was awesome. You should totally record it though so I can put it on my iPod."

He chuckled and nodded, "I can totally do that."

Rachel appeared next to Santana. She folded her hands in front of her plaid skirt and tentatively looked up at Santana, "I just wanted you to know that if you ever wanted to talk about…your situation…I understand." She glanced at Finn who was still pondering his inclusion in the lyrics.

Santana nodded, "Thanks Berry." She took a deep breath and did something she was sure she'd never ever do. She gave Rachel a hug.

Rachel smiled and accepted the hug. "You're welcome."

When the hug ended, everyone was staring at them. Santana rolled her eyes. "I'm seriously trying to be nicer to you guys, but if you're going to look at me weird every time I do it then forget it."

Quinn smiled, "Sorry. We're just not used to seeing you…you know as a human."

Santana knew it was a playful jab and she smiled back Quinn. The whole group left their chairs and milled around the white tiled floors, talking about the song and how it was cute and sad, but they couldn't use it for Regionals because of the Artie part.

Speaking of Artie…Santana looked around and saw that Brittany was sitting on the stool behind the drum kit talking to Artie who was right next to her. Neither one of them looked particularly happy. In fact, Artie looked downright pissed. She knew Brittany was trying to explain something, but he kept shaking his head.

Santana started to walk over there to make sure Artie wasn't being mean, but she saw Puck make his way over. He shook his head at Artie a few times and gestured toward Brittany. The blonde had the drumsticks in her hand and was tapping out a beat on her leg as she listening to the conversation between the two boys. Santana knew she was listening because Brittany had a look of concentration on her face that wasn't on the easy beat on her leg.

"Hey S," Quinn gently put her hand on Santana's forearm, stealing her attention.

Santana turned around and looked at Quinn, "Hmm?"

"I just wanted to let you know that…" Quinn paused, gathering all the right words and discarding any hurtful ones, "If you ever wanna talk or like…hang out after school or something…it's be nice."

Santana let out a smile at Quinn's offer, "Thanks Q. I was actually going to go see a movie later…if you wanted to come."

"Sounds good," Quinn nodded, "Then afterwards maybe you can come with me to look at prom dresses. I kinda really wanted to take you with me because I know you won't lie to me about how they look."

Santana chuckled. No she definitely wouldn't lie to Quinn about something as important as how she looked, "Awesome. I'll get my stuff out of my locker and we can get out of here."

"I'll meet you at your locker," Quinn offered, "My stuff if over there." She pointed at the chairs.

Santana said her goodbyes to everyone and let Rachel hug her one more time before making her way to the door. She glanced back at Brittany. She was surprised that Brittany was watching her with a disappointed look on her face. Santana paused at the door and rested her hand on the doorframe. She let out a small smile to the blonde and mouthed 'thank you.'

Brittany mirrored her smile and mouthed back, 'come over?'

Santana felt her palms start to get clammy. She swallowed hard and looked at her watch. She calculated the time it would take to see a movie and get Quinn through all the dresses in the mall. Santana sighed and shrugged back at Brittany offering an unsure, 'maybe'.

The blonde looked crestfallen and her eyes went to the snare drum in front of her. Santana waited at the door until Brittany looked at her again. She couldn't stand for Brittany to be sad, especially because of her. When she caught the blue eyes again, she held up ten fingers. That was the time the mall closed so she could sneak into Brittany's window like she'd done millions of times before even though this time there would be no sweet lady kisses. Santana didn't think she could handle that now that everything was out in the open.

Brittany let out a million-watt smile and waved at her.

"Did you get your stuff?" Quinn asked, walking up behind Santana. Her eyes followed Santana's before gently pushing the other girl out the door. "You have a problem."

"Don't I know it," Santana started walking down the hallway with Quinn next to her.


	2. Chapter 2

"I don't understand," Quinn said from the inside of the changing stall at a small shop in the mall.

Santana looked up from her phone to meet Quinn's eyes over the stall door, "It's a strapless dress Q. I don't see where the confusion could be."

The blonde rolled her eyes, "No." She turned around and tugged the dress down before stepping out of the stall, "I don't understand why you just gave up."

Santana looked Quinn over before saying, "It makes you look pregnant again." Then she buried her face in her phone again.

Quinn huffed and stepped back into the stall. Santana had rejected all of the dresses she'd tried on so far. Of course that was what she brought the brunette for. If she wanted to be prom queen, she had to look perfect and Santana would point out any flaw she could find.

"Anyway," Quinn unzipped the dress and took it off, "Why did you just give up?"

"Give up what?" Santana huffed. She was trying really hard to beat Angry Birds and Quinn kept interrupting.

"Brittany," Quinn turned around to hang up the dress and pick up a new one.

"I didn't give up," Santana really, really, really didn't want to talk about it, "She shut me down and if you wanna be able to walk out into public I'd put that dress that you're about to put on back. That's the most heinous color I've ever seen."

Quinn put the dress she was about to try on back and grabbed another one, "I'm just saying that you didn't fight very hard. Which is so not you. You fight losing battles for fun and for the most part you win."

"I don't wanna talk about it okay?" Santana sighed heavily.

Quinn looked over the swinging door at the girl who wasn't looking back, "I'm just saying, I'm surprised Artie's wheel chair hasn't fallen apart or he's been hung on the flagpole by his underwear."

Santana thought for a moment. Hanging Artie from the flagpole would definitely be cheaper than stuffing him in her trunk and driving him to Mexico. She shook her head, deciding that she needed to stop fantasizing about hurting Artie. It wasn't his fault. It was her fault. She waited too long. She thought about saying something when Brittany and Artie first got together. Then at Christmas when she appeared at Brittany's doorstep with her usual Christmas Day presents. And then when Coach Sylvester wanted to shoot Brittany out of a cannon. Then on Valentines Day and when they were drunk at Rachel's party. Or after Brittany's latest motocross win. So she'd actually thought about telling Brittany a lot.

"I can't hang him up by his underwear or ditch him in Mexico," Santana leaned back against the wall behind her,

"Mexico?" Quinn asked, peering at Santana.

"Would you stop looking at me while you're naked?" Santana looked back down at her phone, "You're creeping me out."

"I'm not naked," the blonde quirked an eyebrow, "And if I was, you wouldn't be able to control yourself."

Santana rolled her eyes, "Oh yeah stretch marks turn me on."

The blonde turned around, covering herself with her arms although Santana couldn't see her through the door. That was a low blow. Quinn let out a low, "Screw you."

Santana dumped her phone onto her purse and leaned forward, dropping her head in her hands, "I'm sorry Q. It's been a really long day and Brit still wants me to go over to her house which I.… I'm really conflicted about doing."

"Are you two still sleeping together?" Quinn asked, stepping out in a powder blue dress.

At the look on Santana's face Quinn turned around and went back in the stall to take it off. "We haven't…done anything in like a month. Just some cuddling. Last time I just cried the whole time like a big fuckin' baby."

The blonde's eyes turned sympathetic and she put her regular clothes back on. She walked out of the stall and sat down next to Santana. "I'll call her and tell her that you can't come over if you want me to."

"I-" the tears in Santana's eyes surprised Quinn. She put her arm around Santana's shoulders. "I want to go. I love being around her…it…it just hurts so bad."

Quinn didn't understand such strong feelings and to be frank it scared her that Santana was crying. She'd never seen that before. At least not since they were six and Santana fell off the top of the swings and broke her arm. "C'mon. You're going to stay with me tonight."

Quinn sat at her desk while Santana laid on the bed. Quinn's phone was to her ear and she was waiting for Brittany to pick up.

"Hey Q," Brittany happily answered.

Quinn smiled at the cheer in Brittany's voice, "Hey B. Um- Santana's not feeling well so she's gonna stay with me tonight," Quinn paused listening to Brittany, "…hold on let me see if she's still awake." Quinn swiveled in her chair and looked over at Santana, pressing her phone to her shoulder so Brittany couldn't hear, "She wants to bring over a monkey. I don't know if that's Brittany speak for something or some kind of inside thing between you two…" She trailed off as a fresh flood of tears filled Santana's eyes. Quinn moved to the bed and put her phone to her ear, "B, I don't think it's a good idea-"

"No," Santana sniffled and wiped the tears away, "Let her bring it."

"She said you can bring it over," Quinn told Brittany, "But hurry because she's really tired and she needs to sleep…okay. The front door should be open… bye."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Quinn asked at the girl curled up on her bed.

Santana shook her head, "It's a terrible idea." She picked up the pillow she was laying on the tossed it to the side, "So is the cologne that Finn wears. It smells like my Opa. Wash your sheets next time Q."

"How did you know?" Quinn shot of the bed and started to panic.

Santana sighed and grabbed a different pillow, smelling it to make sure it didn't smell like Finn, "I know what Finnocence smells like…unfortunately."

Quinn paced in front of her bed, "You can't tell anyone. Not yet."

"I don't care what you do with whoever you do it with," Santana closed her eyes and ran a hand through her hair. "You could be feeling up Berry for all I care."

"Number one eww," Quinn sat back down on the bed, "And number two eww."

Santana was about to add something when she heard soft, but quick footfalls coming down the hallway toward them. She opened her eyes just in time to see Brittany skid to a halt in Quinn's doorway clutching the monkey in her hands. The tall blonde looked disheveled and was panting.

"B, are you okay?" Quinn asked, her eyes wide with curiosity.

Brittany nodded, trying to catch her breath, "I just…couldn't find my keys so I ran all the way here."

"Why did you do that?" Quinn asked before Santana could.

Brittany paused and looked at Santana, "You said she needed to sleep and I didn't want her to fall asleep without Mico."

Quinn couldn't help, but smile. Brittany was positively the sweetest person she'd ever met. She looked over at Santana who looked like she may be about to cry again. She felt a little like a voyeur when Brittany walked over to the bed and knelt down beside it, her eyes never letting go of Santana's. Brittany stayed off of the bed, but rested her chin on Santana's upper arm. She handed the monkey over to Santana who held it to her chest.

"Do you need anything else?" Brittany asked quietly, her eyes not letting go of the brown ones that were trained on her, "I can go get your favorite movie if you want."

Santana let out a watery smile to the blonde and shook her head. "No Brit. I'm okay." She moved her free arm and ran her fingers through the blonde hair of her best friend. "Thanks."

"Are you sure?" Brittany asked, "Do you want me to go so you can sleep? You look tired." She cupped Santana's cheek with her hand.

"Yeah I think I'm just gonna go to sleep," Santana nodded. It was ripping her heart in two that she could just kiss Brittany right then. Brittany was everything she ever needed.

Brittany looked disappointed but nodded, "Okay. Call me if you need anything and don't forget to eat breakfast okay?"

Santana weakly smiled, "Okay."

Without thinking about it, Brittany planted a soft peck on Santana's lips and then kissed her forehead before standing up straight. She rubbed Santana's side before walking to the door. She caught Quinn's eyes and pointed to the door where Santana couldn't see her.

Quinn got up and turned to Santana, "I'm gonna go lock the front door. You can change into some pajamas if you want to."

Santana nodded and watched the two blondes walk out.

Quinn followed Brittany down the stairs and to the front door. Brittany turned around in the foyer and placed of her hands on her other elbow. She looked nervous to Quinn who just tilted her head, waiting for the reason she followed Brittany down the stairs.

Brittany bit her lip, "i-is she okay? I mean, I know she's not sick. I know when she's sick." Brittany swallowed the lump in her throat waiting for Quinn to answer.

"She's moving through a lot of emotions right now," Quinn answered as tactfully as possible.

The blue eyes that were normally so joyous were filled with tears. "I love her so much. I never wanted to hurt her like that."

"I know B," Quinn pulled Brittany into a hug.

Brittany sniffled, "What if I can't fix it? What can I do to fix it?"

Quinn pulled away and held Brittany's shoulders as she spoke, "You have to go with what you feel. If you feel like you should stay with Artie do that and if you feel like you should be with Santana then do that. You're going to end up hurting one of them. The only thing you can control is if you hurt yourself in the process. Eventually they'll both be happy for you if you're happy."

Brittany still looked hopeless, but she tried to force a smile, "Thanks Q."

"Just take some times out to think about what you want," Quinn tried a put out a reassuring smile. "Focus on Brittany for the rest of the week."

The taller girl nodded, "Okay." She hugged Quinn again and disappeared into the night.

Quinn closed the door and locked it. She took a deep breath. She was really happy to have both of her friends back, she really was, but she had forgotten how exhausting they both were.

When Quinn walked into the bedroom, she found the overhead light off and the lamp on her side of the bed on. Santana was facing away from her under the covers, apparently already asleep.

Quinn silently changed into her pajamas and slipped under the covers. She looked up at the ceiling wondering if she'd ever be able to give the kind of love that Brittany possessed.

"What did she say?" Santana's voice penetrated the darkness, lazily making its way to Quinn.

"She said she knows you're not sick, that she'd have been able to tell," Quinn answered, "Then she asked how you were."

"What did you say?"

"That you're sorting through a lot of things right now." Quinn answered, "I don't know how you're doing. I don't think you know how you're doing."

Santana rolled to her other side to face Quinn in the darkness. "Is she okay?"

"She's beating herself up about hurting you," Quinn explained as evenly as possible, "She really wants you to be happy."

Santana still had the monkey clutched to her chest, not daring to let it go. It smelled just like Brittany so she wanted it as close to her as possible.

"I think she needs time away from both of you," Quinn added, "She needs to find a place where there's no pressure so she can deal with her own feelings."

"Yeah," Santana agreed, "How do we do that?"

Quinn snuggled into her pillow, "We keep you and Artie away from her so she can think."

"I can do that," Santana offered, "If it helps."

"But you're going to have to tell Artie how you feel," Quinn stated. "You're probably going to have to tell the whole glee club how you feel so they can support Brittany."

At this point Santana felt it was painfully obvious, but she'd do it. "You have to make sure it's okay with Brit first."

"I will," Quinn took a deep breath, "In the morning. Go to sleep Santana."


	3. Chapter 3

It wasn't hard to find Brittany the next morning. She was lingering at Quinn's locker obviously waiting for her. When she saw Quinn, Brittany let out a smile that wasn't quite as bright as usual, but was happy nonetheless.

"Hey," Quinn smiled back, "What's up?"

"Nothing," Brittany leaned back on the locker next to Quinn's, "Does S feel any better?"

"I think so but," she paused to pull open her locker, "We talked for a while last night after you left. I suggested that you needed some pressure free space to think in and she agreed."

"I think so too," Brittany nodded.

"Good," the shorter girl shuffled some things around in her locker, "You do know that requires Santana to tell everyone about her feelings for you so they can help you and for Artie to know how Santana feels?"

"She'd do that?" Brittany asked softly, her eyes intense and boring into Quinn.

Quinn nodded, "She doesn't want you to be sad. If it's okay with you, she'll tell the whole glee club today and then she'll back off."

"Back off?" Brittany frowned at those words.

"For this to work Santana and Artie have to give you space," Quinn answered.

After mulling it over for a few seconds, Brittany asked, "How long?"

"As long as you need," Quinn touched Brittany's arm, "Whenever you're ready you can tell me who you pick or if you even pick one of them and we'll figure out how to tell them."

Brittany nodded and pulled Quinn into a bone-crushing hug. "Thanks Q."

Santana had been anxious to get to glee. She wanted to get this soul-baring experience over with so she could sink back into her funk and not feel anything. She purposely walked in late. She wanted to walk in, say what she had to say and walk out.

"Okay," Santana walked up to the front of the group. She looked to the two blonde girls for the courage to continue. She surveyed the rest of the group, "Before we start, I have something important to say." She paused. Her found Artie who was glaring at her. Apparently he'd already been told. She took a deep breath and decided to just put it all out there. "I'm in love with Brittany."

There were a few shocked faces, but for the most part everyone accepted it in stride. She paused, accepting all the looks with a heavy sigh before letting Quinn take her place.

"The reason that we're telling you all this is because Brittany's going to take a step back and reevaluate," Quinn answered, "That means Santana and Artie are going to back off and let out figure her stuff out. That also means that we're all going to be there for her because that's what we do."

"Who are we being there for?" Finn raised his hand, confused.

"Brittany," Quinn stated.

Rachel sighed with a huge smile on her face, "This is so romantic." She then gasped, "I should write a song about this!" She practically ran out of the room.

"Where'd Santana go?" Mike looked around the room.

Sure enough Santana was nowhere to be seen.

"She walked out while Barbie was talking," Lauren commented.

Santana sat behind the piano in the auditorium wishing that she had stuck with her piano lessons when she was little. She ran her fingers over the keys and played a few simple chords before sighing.

"Santana?"

She turned around and found Rachel walking onto the stage.

Santana dropped her fist on the keys of the piano causing a loud, horrible noise to fill the space, "What's up Berry?"

"I actually came to write a song about what's going on with you and Brittany and Artie," she tentatively sat next to Santana. "It's really beautiful and romantic."

"It doesn't feel like it," Santana sighed and played the few chords she still remembered, "It feels like I'm drunk all the time and I can't stop crying and –I don't know why I'm telling you this."

"No please," Rachel offered, "You can talk to me. I feel…like we're in the same boat, although your half of the boat has hope. I mean, I've been trying to convince Finn that we're meant to be and Quinn waltzes in and…"

Santana glanced at the smaller girl, knowing that Rachel probably had a better chance than she thought. Of course Finn had been hanging out with Quinn, but he wasn't the one person that Quinn always had a thing for. The boy she had a thing for was currently dating the state wrestling champ.

"It'll all work out and all that shit," Santana tried her best to reassure them both. "If not we can go to my house and get drunk. Then I'll transfer to Jane Addams and drop out before working a pole until I turn forty."

Rachel bowed her head, "It was unfair of me to say that," She offered an apologetic look to Santana, "I now realize how vicious that was and I apologize."

"No it's okay," Santana stared at the white keys, her fingers ghosting over them, "I deserved it. I was such a bitch."

"Well you're not now," Rachel smiled. She set her fingers on the keys, "I didn't know you played."

"I don't…not anymore," Santana sighed, "I quit when this really cute little blonde girl started taking up all of my time." She let out a humorless laugh, "The funny thing is, is that she used to love to listen to me play. She'd lay on the couch and tell me how awesome I was at it."

Rachel softly smile, "I seems to me like you and Brittany are fated to be together."

"I don't know-I just don't know anymore," she stood up from the bench and walked to the microphone that was in the middle of the stage, "You play right?"

Rachel nodded.

"Do you know any songs by Adele?" Santana asked.

"Of course," Rachel put her fingers on the keys, "All of them."

Santana stood in front of the microphone and started out into the empty audience. She felt all the emotion build up before belting out the first line with all the power her vocal chords could handle.

You've been on my mind

Rachel picked up on the song and started to play along as Santana toned it down a little, her voice still reverberating off of the walls.

_I grow fonder every day,  
Lose myself in time,  
Just thinking of your face,  
God only knows why it's taken me so long to let my doubts go,  
You're the only one that I want,_

_I don't know why I'm scared,  
I've been here before,  
Every feeling, every word,  
I've imagined it all,  
You'll never know if you never try,  
To forgive your past and simply be mine,_

_I dare you to let me be your, your one and only,_  
_Promise I'm worth it,_  
_To hold in your arms,_  
_So come on and give me a chance,_  
_To prove I am the one who can walk that mile,_  
_Until the end starts_

Santana cut the song short because she knew if she kept going she'd break down on stage. And as nice as she was trying to be, she did not want to have a meltdown in front of Rachel Berry who would most likely blurt it out at the most inopportune moment in front of a lot of people.

She rubbed her hands over her eyes and took a deep breath before walking back over to the piano. "Thanks-er…Rachel."

"It was a pleasure," Rachel smiled at her, "You're very talented Santana."

Santana nodded. "Thanks. You too."

She spent the rest of the evening in her bed sulking and having to physically restrain her own hands to keep from texting Brittany. Her mom couldn't get her to eat and Quinn had to shove her out of bed to get her to go to school the next day when she came to pick her up.

Santana shuffled to her first class with her head down. She didn't want to accidentally see Brittany. Mostly because she knew it wouldn't have really been an accident. She was starting to believe that she was some kind of closet masochist with all the torture she was putting herself through.

She didn't hear the telltale footsteps accompanied by the swirling around if an icy drink against the plastic cup that had been like a siren to any other the other gleeks. But Santana had never had reason to fear it.

"Hey Ellen," Karofsky called, "Nice flannel."

Santana looked up only to see the poor soul that Karofsky was about to assault, but when she did she was met with a face full of green slushy. Karofsky dropped the cup at her feet and walked off with a laugh.

It was all Santana could do not to burst into tears. She just stood there in the middle of the hallway, dripping while the snickers filled the hallway. She looked down at her very non-flannel shirt that was covered in an icy, sugary green drink. She always wondered what this felt like and now she knew.

Brittany and Tina had been walking down the hallway when they saw Santana get slushied. Brittany hadn't moved since. Tina was positive Brittany hadn't blinked or even breathed since. Her eyes were locked on her best friend who was motionless in the middle of the hallway.


	4. Chapter 4

Tina looked around for one of the glee guys so they could restrain Santana. She could see the anger in the girl's eyes as she set her jaw parallel with the ground, her eyes narrowed at Karofsky's back.

"Dude," one of the football players hit Karofsky's shoulder, making him turn around to look at Santana.

Santana dropped her bag on the ground and advanced on him with a menace that no one had ever seen in that school. The people around Karofsky scattered as Santana got close. He finally and stupidly turned around and was met with a fist in his jaw.

He was shoved hard again a locker, causing him to hit the back of his head. He doubled over, sinking to his knees, but that didn't stop Santana. She was screaming in her grandfather's native tongue at him as she continued to pummel his face and chest. She didn't realized that tears were streaming down her face as she hit him.

Finally someone came to his rescue in the form of a blonde ex-head Cheerio. She grabbed Santana around her waist, but Santana slapped the blonde. Quinn stepped back, stunned with her hand on her cheek as Santana went after Karofsky again.

Before she could get to him, she collided with the front of a different blonde ex-Cheerio. Brittany wrapped her arms around Santana who was too stunned by Brittany's sudden presence and contact to do anything, but allow herself to be led away.

When Santana shook out of her stupor, they were entering the girl's bathroom. She yanked away from Brittany with a pained, "Don't touch me."

Although it hurt Brittany deeply that Santana didn't want to be touched, she continued to follow the other girl into the bathroom. "Sit down," Brittany said quietly and grabbed a few paper towels.

"I don't need help," Santana sniffled and wiped her face with her cut and bruised knuckles. She tried to glare as hard as she could at the blonde, but it came out as more of an annoyed stare.

"Sit down," Brittany stated, more firmly this time. It sounded weird coming from her and Santana was surprised. So much so that she obeyed, sliding onto the counter next to the sinks. Brittany ran the paper towels under the water thinking that she'd never had to talk to Santana like that. Of course they'd never been in this situation before. They'd never been at odds or at least avoiding each other. As she wretched off the water, she looked at herself in the mirror seeing the obvious dark circles under her eyes from not sleeping well for the past few nights. She tried to cover them up this morning with concealer, but the quiet tears she'd shed as Santana was slushied washed it away.

Brittany walked over to Santana and stood between the brunette's legs. Santana put her hand up to stop her, but Brittany took Santana's wrist and forced that hand down. Santana looked questioningly at Brittany before the blonde began to slowly and gently wipe away the remnants of slushy and tears from Santana's face.

When she was done, she tossed the used paper towel away before getting another one. When she got back to Santana she saw that the other girl was leaned back against the mirror, her head tilted up and her eyes glued to the ceiling. Brittany gently picked up Santana's hand and ran the cool towel over her knuckles. She quietly asked, "Why did you hit him so much?"

"He slushied me," Santana stated trying to force a new set of tears back down. She was tired of crying. She just wanted to feel nothing instead of the crushing depression and anger that had encompassed her.

Brittany picked up Santana's other hand and wiped away some blood that was making it's way across her fingers. She looked up at Santana then said, "You hit Quinn."

Santana squinted her eyes and looked down from the lights on the ceiling. She watched as Brittany methodically pulled wiped each and ever knuckle on her hand before tossing the paper towel into the trash. "I don't remember that," Santana whispered.

Brittany licked her lips and gazed at Santana with her head tilted down, through her long eyelashes. "I've never seen you like that. I-It scared me."

Part of Santana felt bad for scaring Brittany. She never wanted the blonde to be anything other than happy. But another part of her wanted Brittany to just go away and not care because this was so much harder than she wanted it to be.

Santana slid off of the counter intent on leaving until she found herself wedged between Brittany and the counter. She paused, her eyes downcast, "I'm sorry Brit."

Brittany ran her fingers through Santana's long, slushy soaked hair before placing a hand on either side of the girl, keeping her in place. "It's okay." She dipped her head down to catch Santana's eyes, "But I want to talk."

"Not," Santana sighed, "Not now B."

"You always say not now," Brittany explained, "You're too sick to talk or you just avoid me. I wanna talk." Her voice grew hard.

Santana crossed her arms in front of herself, trying to distance herself from Brittany and not think about the lower half of their bodies that were pressed together. She growled defiantly, "So talk."

"I wanna know what's going to happen to us," Brittany's voice grew quiet and timid.

"If what happens?" Santana was terrified to ask, but after days without knowing she hoped that knowing would bring her some sort of relief.

Brittany's eyes flickered to the floor and back to Santana, "If I tell you that…I wanna be with you more than anything." She swallowed trying to quell the tears in her eyes. "Are you going to make me hide? Are we going to go on dating other guys?" The blonde removed her hands from the counter beside Santana and rested them both on Santana's crossed forearms, "Are you gonna beat up everyone that slushies us? Because I don't like that. I don't like it when you're mad. Especially like that." Brittany paused to catch Santana's eyes, making sure she was following. The brunette was frozen in place, staring hard at Brittany, soaking up every word.

Brittany took a deep breath and continued, "Are you gonna get mad if I bring you flowers at school? Or do I only get to hold your pinkie? Because if we're together, I want to be _together_." She watched as the wheels behind Santana's eyes move at light speed. She waited for the let down. She waited for Santana to tell her that after being slushied once, she couldn't let it happen again.

Santana uncrossed her arms and rested her hands on Brittany's hips, "I already told you. I wanna be with you. I don't wanna be with anyone else. I want the world to know that I'm yours." She pulled Brittany flush against her body, "I don't know what's gonna happen or how I'm gonna react." She closed her eyes and absorbed the feeling of Brittany pressed against her. Just in case this was it. Just in case she had didn't say with Brittany needed to hear. "I love you. No matter what."

"No matter what?" Brittany asked, breathlessly. She melted into Santana and buried her face in the brunette's neck.

"Of course," Santana answered, "No boy or slushy is going to change that."

"You're not gonna leave me?" Brittany's voice was so small and insecure, it broke Santana's heart all over again.

"Why would I do that?"

Brittany took a deep breath, "Because you don't…really date people. I think the longest you've ever been with someone was the two weeks you were with Puck during last summer when I was on vacation."

"B," Santana pulled back with an amused smile, "I was with him for two weeks _because _you were gone." It took a few seconds for it to click for Brittany. When Santana saw the light of recognition in Brittany's eyes, she continued, "Sure there have been guys coming and going, but you've always, always, always been in my life. If you think about it, we've kinda been in together for over a year."

She settled into Santana's arms, rested her forehead on the brunette's shoulder.

"What does this mean?" A harsh reality hit Santana. This was sort of sounding like the conversation they had a few days ago in the hallway. She didn't want to wait for the other shoe to drop this time. She was going to make it hit the ground and she was going to be ready, or at least as ready as she could be.

The bell rang around them and Brittany slowly pulled her head up, "I wanna talk more. I think- I know how I feel and I think I know how you feel, but we really need to talk."

"More than this?" Santana asked, in a weak attempt to get Brittany to tell her exactly what was going to happen. She wanted to know the endgame.

The blonde nodded earnestly. She took a step back and took Santana's hand. "Meet me at the park okay? After school."

Santana nodded, "Of course."

Brittany lingered in the doorway, glancing back at her before disappearing into the main hallway of the school.

When Santana walked out of the bathroom, after getting as much slushy out of her hair as possible, she found Rachel leaning on the lockers waiting for her. Rachel pushed off of the lockers and started walking with Santana down the hallway, "How'd it go?" Rachel offered Santana the bag that she dropped before pummeling Karofsky.

Santana shrugged and took it, "She asked a lot of questions and told me to meet her at the park after school."

"How romantic," Rachel smiled. Then her face turning to a look of concentration, "I have an idea for a song. I have to write this down." She pulled out a notepad and started jotting it down, "This is gold. Why don't things like this ever happen to me?"

"I would rather it not be happening to me," Santana huffed. Her heart sank when the glee club's wheelchair bound boy rolled toward her with a hard glare. She sighed and directed her words at him, "Fuck me. I can't handle this right now. You can yell at me, but for fuck's sake can you wait until after my Biology test?"

"Why?" Artie ignored her request.

She sighed and deflated. She glanced up at the clock on the wall. She had two minutes to humor him, "Why what?"

"Why are you trying to steal her from me?"

"I-I'm not," Santana answered, "Well…I guess I am, but it's not that I want to steal her. I just want to be with her."

"Why?" Artie asked again, looking indignantly up at her, his eyes flickering to an observing Rachel. "Why couldn't you just leave her alone?"

"I didn't think it was big deal," Santana rubbed her hands over her eyes, but sharply pulled them away when she grazed one of her new bruises on her cheek bone, "I just-I've loved her for a long time. Longer than you've known her."

"You treat her like shit," Artie's voice raised a few octaves in the way it does when he's really upset.

"You treat her like she's five," Santana snapped back, "It's insulting. Plus, I treat her better than you ever could."

"I bought her flowers on her one week anniversary," Artie stated.

"Before ignoring her for the weekend to play a video game.'

"How did you know about that?"

Santana rolled her eyes, "Where do you think she was that weekend?"

"I feel like I should remind you both that we all need to get to class," Rachel appeared next to both of them.

"Oh yeah test," Santana muttered and walked off.

Artie watched her disappear into a class before looking up at Rachel who started pushing him in the direction of their class, "Why do I feel like I've already lost her?"

Rachel bit her lip. She didn't know how to answer. She just continued to push him to class, humming the tune to the newest song she had written in her head.


	5. Chapter 5

This contains another original song of mine written for this story. Maybe it'll be on an album some day. But probably not.

* * *

Santana found Quinn after her last class and timidly walked up to her. "You can totally slap me if you want."

Quinn took her up on her offer the sound of skin hitting skin resounding through the hallway. Santana's blood boiled and she was about to lunge at Quinn when she saw the smirk on the blonde's lips. "Okay now that that's over with," Quinn looked Santana over, "We have to get you all sexied up for your park date."

"It's not a date and how did you know about it?" Santana asked, rubbing the slightly red mark on her cheek.

Quinn rolled her eyes, "I didn't hit you that hard." She linked her arm in Santana's and they started walking down the hallway, "Rachel was writing another one of her annoying songs in our Spanish class and she asked me what rhymed with duck. After my one word answer, she became very upset and told me everything."

They walked into the music room and took a seat in the room with polite smiles to the room's only occupants Tina and Mike.

"I was thinking that purple striped dress you have with a jacket or something," Quinn started going through what she knew about Santana's wardrobe. "But that's not really practical for the park. Maybe some skinny jeans? Black though. You want to look serious, not like you're there to play on the swings." She trailed off when Brittany walked in with Rachel. The blonde surveyed the open chairs and Quinn patted the open one next to her with a friendly smile.

Brittany half-heartedly smiled back and silently took the seat. Rachel stayed in the front, an open notebook in front of her.

Santana tried to subtly look at Brittany around Quinn, but every time she looked, she was caught by Brittany who was usually looking back.

Before Mr. Schue could speak as he walked in, Rachel smiled at the group, "I have written another song that is inspired by two anonymous members of the glee club whose story is…star-crossed and riveting as well as hopelessly romantic."

Sure she'd been nice to Rachel for the past few days, but Santana was now shooting dagger at the short starlet. Quinn looked over at Brittany who had her eyes on her knees.

The soft exposition of a piano played as Rachel stepped up to her usual solo spot. Mr. Schue just accepted this and sat down in one of the chairs to watch.

Rachel's eyes landed on Santana as she started the first verse.

_You save her from the hardest days_

_Make her fears and nightmares melt away_

_And you know that you can take it too far_

_So you hide behind your old disguise_

_Make believe that you could say goodbye_

_Even though you know that she is the one_

Santana felt the all too familiar sting of tears in her eyes. If she didn't want to strangle Rachel for singing this in front of everyone, she would have hugged the girl. That first verse was written specifically for Santana and she knew it. Rachel had hit it right on the head.

Luckily, Rachel set her eyes to wandering the room as she went into the chorus with a power that is only know to fall from her lips

_So you cry and you fight_

_Cause you'll love until you die_

_You met so young_

_It came undone_

_Abut you know what the story ends_

_She's by your side, it never fails_

_It's become that last page of your high school fairytale_

The watery eyes of the diva find Brittany, letting her know that this is her verse. When she finds the blonde, she sees that Brittany looks miserable. Her looks like she's on the verge of crying while most of the other girls in the room are teary eyed.

_You make her smile just by walking by_

_You're the only one that sees inside_

_And you know she'd never take it too far_

_So you sit outside in the darkened night_

_On the metal slide where you met your love_

_She's more than your love_

_Your real life high school fairytale princess smiles back_

_Says she loves you like that_

Santana's eyes shoot to Brittany, silently asking her how the hell Rachel knows about the slide. Brittany knew Santana would be looking to her and slowly nodded, hoping that Santana wasn't mad at her.

Santana wasn't mad because she realized that she'd been making eye contact with Brittany for a good ten seconds without crying. This realization makes the tears pour down her face.

_It's the perfect ending to the perfect book_

_And how it all started was a chance you took_

_Oh a chance you took_

_On your high school fairytale_

Quinn reaches on both sides of her and takes the hands of the subjects of the song, as her face becomes wet with tears.

"I think…" Mr. Schue stood up, "That's a definite contender for Regionals."

Brittany and Santana managed to escape glee without accidentally looking at or touching each other. Santana rode with Quinn to her house, which was closer to the park than her own.

"What are you going to say?" Quinn asked as they got out of the car.

"I-" Santana was already on the sidewalk that pointed to the park, "I think I've done too much talking already."

The blonde nodded, "Good luck. I hope you're both happy when this all pans out."

"Me too," Santana mumbled more to herself than Quinn as she started walking toward the park and the answer she'd been dying to know.

Santana paused at the perimeter of the park. She could see Brittany across the small field seated in the same position she was when they first met. She was sitting in the shade under the slide, her knees to her chest and her chin resting on them, staring at the ground.

They didn't meet here when they were little kids, sharing plastic shovels and working on sand castles. One night Santana had been waling around the neighborhood, enjoying a warm summer night. She saw a lanky blonde sitting under the slide, in the same position she was in now. Santana went to see what was wrong. Brittany told her nothing was wrong, but Santana could tell the girl was lying. After some more prodding, Brittany finally admitted that she was nervous to start high school and came here to think about it.

Santana briefly wondered if they had ever meet at this park when they were smaller, but realized that the remnants of her own personal playground still stood in her backyard. That's where she played, mostly by herself, and sometimes with Lima's more affluent families' kids.

They found they had gone to different middle schools, but were both destined for McKinley. Yeah they may have seen each other at sporting events that their schools played in. They were both probably going to try out for the local celebrity maker: the Cheerios.

Finally Santana's mom called her to come home. They exchanged numbers and had continued to grow closer ever since.

Santana contemplated turning around and running all the way back to Quinn's house. Her fight or flight instinct was betraying her. After tapping her fingers on her thigh, she started walking because if she didn't soon, she knew she wouldn't at all.

Brittany looked up when she heard footsteps and scrambled to her feet as Santana approached. She looked nervous as she dusted off her shorts. They stood awkwardly for a few seconds before Santana led the way to the merry-go-round.

They sat down, a metal pole between them. Santana kicked off and they started their lazy circle.

"Artie told me that he talked to you today," Brittany mentioned.

Santana snapped angrily, "I thought we were supposed to be giving you space."

Brittany just gave Santana an apologetic look before continuing, "He apologized for treating me like a kid and for ignoring me sometimes."

"Brit, don't get me wrong," Santana watched her feet graze the ground as it went by, "I love when you tell me about your day, but I can't handle-"

"I told him I didn't want to be with him," Brittany stated, "I never really thought about how he treated me before. I don't like being treated like a kid. I know I'm not like smart or anything-"

Santana interrupted Brittany before she'd actually processed the sentence, "You are smart. Just in different, and pretty much more useful, ways than anyone else."

The blonde smiled and leaned on the pole between them.

Santana quirked an eyebrow and looked at Brittany, "Did you say you told him you didn't wanna be with him?"

Brittany slowly nodded. "Over the past few day, I haven't been with either of you and it made me sad. You're the only one I really thought about. I mean, I tried to think about him because he was like my boyfriend, but….you're my Santana."

"Does that mean…" Santana prompted.

"I thought about that too and I thought I would tell you that I'd go out with you if you'd hold my hand in school and tell everyone we're together and walk me to class and kiss me in the hallway," Brittany rambled on not taking a breath. Then she paused to catch her breath, "But I realized that I'll be with you no matter what. If we have to hide or sneak around." Tears formed in the corners of her eyes, "Because I don't wanna go another day without you. I missed being your friend."

After absorbing the sentence Santana dropped her head in her hands and ran them over her hair. She took an excruciatingly long time to gather her thoughts. She reached around the pole and took Brittany's hand, "Listen Brit," she looked up to make sure Brittany was looking at her, "If you're doing this just because you miss being friends then…that's the wrong reason. I mean, I'd be thrilled if you wanted to be with me, but just because you miss being friends then…" Santana clenched her jaw to gather her wits, "I was selfish in pushing you away. I was doing it to protect myself, but I didn't even stop to think about your feelings." She leaned onto the pole, the only thing separating their bodies. "If you just wanna be friends, that's okay."

The blonde planted her feet on the ground stopping the merry-go-round. Santana looked up at her questioningly and Brittany stood up and walked to the slide, not letting go of Santana's hand.

"Sure, I miss being your friend," Brittany explained when they got to the shade of the slide, "But I miss...you. " Her eyes roamed all over Santana's face, taking in every small feature, putting together the puzzle of her features. "I love you so much. I wanna be with you."

Santana's knees nearly gave out at the declaration. She pulled Brittany into a fierce hug and let out a quiet sob into Brittany's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Brittany did every soothing thing she could think of. She ran her fingers through Santana's hair and rubbed her back. She kissed Santana's neck and cheek hoping to comfort her in any way possible. "I should have realized it sooner. I'm sorry I hurt you."

Santana shook her head and pulled away with a smile on her face. She wiped her eyes, "It was worth it." She touched Brittany's cheek and held it in her hand.

Brittany smiled and leaned into Santana's hand. She moved forward and kissed Santana, releasing all the pent up emotions that she'd been harboring for years that had been growing for months and that had made themselves know over the past few days.

Santana too released all of her emotion into the kiss. Her apologies and Shakespearian calls to the balcony of Brittany's heart in the night as well as her insecurities about herself and her own adequacies. This kiss was a promise to love Brittany and to work on her own problems. It was a promise to accept help this time so she didn't have to go it alone. It was an acknowledgement that she'd never had to go it alone again.

They stood in the park as the sun set, placing promise kisses on each other and knowing that it wasn't quite a fairytale, but it was their story so it was perfect for them.

* * *

The End


End file.
